My Grandma passed away on Saturday. She has been in and out of the hospital since Christmas. I took the boys up to visit her in ICU on Monday and she wasn’t doing well. It was so hard to see her because she looked so much like my Mom did right before she died. There had been a lot of damage to her lungs and it wasn’t the kind that gets better.
She was released on Saturday around noon and we headed up to her house to visit and help out. When we got there her oxygen levels were very low and the hospice nurse didn’t want us talking to her because every time she talked, her oxygen levels would plummet further. The ambulance ride to her house took a lot out of her. The hospice nurse was detailing the unbelievably long list of medications and care that my Grandma would require and I could tell that my Aunts were overwhelmed.
Bryce and I went for a walk outside and he picked a daffodil. He gave my Grandma the daffodil and it made her smile. She commented on how sweet and cute Bryce was and I told her not to talk with a smile on my face. The respiratory therapist arrived and was able to get her breathing a little more under control and we headed home. At about 9:30 p.m., about 5 hours after we had left her, I got a call telling me that she had passed away.
Let me tell you – I didn’t believe it. We were JUST there. It was so surreal. It took me a couple seconds to process and then the tears started and didn’t stop for hours. I was crying fro my Grandma and also for my Mom. I was up at the house today with my family so that we could help out. I had my husband stay back with the boys because I knew it was going to be a long day and I didn’t want them exposed to all the sadness.
I’m back home now and exhausted. Grief takes a lot out of you. I’m SO thankful that I went up to see her yesterday and so thankful that I know where she is. She is with my Popi and my Mom and she’s not in pain anymore. It’s wonderful to be able to have that to hold onto but I’m still sad that I won’t have her in my life and in my boy’s lives any longer – at least not her physical presence. Plans are underway for her memorial service and I’m sure that it will be beautiful. Thank you in advance for your understanding as I may not be 100% here in the coming weeks.